theory of a theory

Sunday, January 24, 2010

3:17 PM

Shadows of rising smoke mark the pages in front of me, as he gets lost in his own conversation illuminated by a red sunset. Surrounded by my own vague thoughts, I drain his brain for inspiration. Precious, but worthless this moment. As usual, the science fiction rant that never leaves the pages of my diary is making me lose sanity. The cold coffee I have forgotten about makes him frown upon the choice of my non-alcoholic drinks as he tries it.

Next couple of hours are fast forwarded at the speed of my anxiety, until my little purple dress and I hit the dance floor. Blurry hands reach for the remote once again to press fast forward one last time for the night . I don't pause until I can feel the morning sun in my face as my hair is being blown away by the wind barging in through the open car window. I don't usually congratulate myself too early, but I just safely drove into a new day. Hello Sunday, coffee and a lazy day outdoors on surprisingly comfortable metal benches in the sun.

As a gust of wind ruffles my notes, I close my smiling eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on my pale face. My freckles are playing with the yellow rays, as he gives me a curious look wanting to lean over and read what's on my mind. He waits a little… "Do you know what determinism is?" I raise my eyes from the screen and look at him in uncertainty. He goes on to explain another fascinating theory of something I've never heard of before. I enjoy following his train of thought; it is always so unexpectedly different to my usual afternoon conversation. Natural law, free will, philosophical questions and carefully measured answers that lift up the curtain of what's hiding underneath his shaggy hair and that guilty smile. He says me smoking menthols makes him think of me smoking menthols. Me smoking menthols make me think of how I should've quit after New Years.