Will I be the bigger person by accepting the past for what it was and tell you neither one of us won? For all I remember, for you, winning was taking away from me what I have found to replace you. For me winning was making you want me back. Now, winning is being here and not with you.
What gives me a reason to stay afloat day by day? I might be broken, but I'll never be destroyed. Nonetheless, I have my doubts. He exaggerates so sweetly; he lies so convincingly; he makes it feel so effortless to be myself around him.
Could it be that we find comfort in each others pain? Is it truly wrong to search for a damaged soul in order for mine to heal and vice verse? And what does money have to do with any of this? Why do we waste time on so much superficial bullshit? Is it really that crucial to win the lottery to have what we 'truly' want? Is there something wrong with living by the day and not having to care about a thing? For all I fucking know, I'll be dead tomorrow.
I started sleeping on the couch again. There is just something about my bed that doesn't bring me the comfort it used to. What is it? Or should I wonder what it is not anymore?
How stupid of me is it to take the risks that he doesn't want to take? How careless of me is it to expose myself to the danger that lays beyond the limits of me? How irresponsible of me is it to wish for the easy way out? When will I learn how to be selfish and selfless at the same time? In the world I live in, is it really all about being self-centered while managing to manipulate others to my whims and desires? How do we stay unbiased to what's happening to those we love? When should I put my foot down and admit that enough is enough?
When will I give up on writing down the lyrics that will never be a song? Why would I stop searching for the right tune for this moment? Who will interfere in this battle between the Me and the Evil?
And, most important, why the fuck doesn't Google have any of the answers?
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