question

Sunday, November 01, 2009

9:01 PM

A question is beating in the back of my heart, as you hold my hand in your sleep. Next thing I know, million stories are flying through my mind as I lay awake in the middle of the night, missing your hand in mine.

The catastrophe of a friend's broken spirit is in my head. He said he'll die alone. Last night he found out that the slut of his girlfriend is actually a slut in real life. He sat there in dead silence, ignoring her; his silence didn't stop her from begging him to love her one more day. He rejoiced in her misery and sat there still, without even looking at her, as his heart shattered… Not for her and not because of her; but for the one he wished could be by his side and never betray. His mind is set on not trying any more, his heart is set on not loving any one. The coincidences lead him to believe that this is how it should be. Yet coincidence is nothing more, but a what's meant to be; he just hasn't found a reason behind it yet.

Sunset…

Unexpected silence reigns over my room. No more half-way unpacked suitcases, no more loud laughs, no more company. The flame of the candle is shaking, waving at the open balcony door. The smell of lavender, girls' perfume, your cologne and cold wind overwhelm what's left of my allergies. The silence attacks, as my clothes are laying on the floor next to my imperfections. My naked essence is on the edge of a knife. My red lipstick on the pillow is the only thing that's left there to remind me of your fingers tearing up my soul, once the costumes were gone.